I Earn Much Less Than My Partner, But We Split Costs Evenly. How Do I Stop Resenting Him?

Currently, since their income is practically the same, they split expenses evenly. “But we haven’t always made the same amount — in fact, at one point, I was making almost $40K less than he was, but we still usually split everything 50/50,” she says. “The only thing he paid more on was our car, but that was because I had a student loan. Now that my student loan is paid back, I split the car payment with him. I couldn’t before because, by the time our bills were paid, I had basically zero dollars leftover. It was just too much pressure and anxiety to not split things 50/50, though, and it didn’t feel fair. It’s not my partner’s fault I made less, so why should he have to subsidize my lifestyle? We sometimes will charge things on one of our (individually owned) credit cards for the points. So upfront, one of us foots the tab, but then we’ll pay the other back.”

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