Romance Is Rigged Against Black Women. Here’s How To Decolonize Love

The world is a white supremacist, capitalist, ableist cisheteropatriarchy. That means even if we do not date men, men and their institutions shape the landscape of safety, worth, access and opportunity for women based on their desirability to men. The white supremacist construction of cis, able-bodied, white womanhood is the ideal to which we are subjected and rejected from womanhood. Under this pervasive system, our natural desires for connection, for sex, for love are compounded and exploited for profit. Media, tax breaks and healthcare incentives for married couples combine to communicate that singleness will be punished. Fulfilling sexual desires outside of marriage will be shamed. Pursuing queer existence, queer relationships or motherhood outside of heteronormativity will be grounds for humiliation, discrimination and abuse.

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