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There’s no arguing that the impending holidays bring a load of stress along with the warm fuzzies. There’s a lot of planning and coordination that go into being holly and jolly! And you, a modern holiday-haver, have so many important decisions to make. But there’s one holiday decision that towers over all the others—the decision upon which all other decisions hang. I’m talking, of course, about which Christmas movie to watch, based on your Myers-Briggs personality type.
I know it might not seem like the most critical decision you will make this holiday season, but it absolutely and unequivocally is. You see, watching the wrong movie for your personality type could have disastrous repercussions. Can I elaborate on this? Absolutely not! Just trust me!
Christmas movies are an important part of anyone who celebrate’s holiday routine—so why waste time watching some random film that hasn’t even been scientifically predetermined for your exact personality? In my infinite Santa-esque seasonal spirit of generosity, I’m not even just going to tell you what movie you should watch, but also what part of your deepest essence makes it so! And when you think about it, isn’t self-awareness the greatest gift of all?
Sometimes I, myself, can’t believe how very into the spirit of generosity I am getting And to that, I say, ho ho ho. Whether it’s an opportunity to see a new classic or rewatch an old favorite from your newly enlightened-by-me perspective, this list will have something for everyone!
Time to dash, dance and prance down this page to see your new favorite holiday movie. Make like Santa’s list and scrooooooll through! (Get it? Because his list is like, a scroll? Can you believe I have to write 300 words for this intro??? Keep the Myers Briggs results, ya filthy animals! Is that anything? I’m in hell!)
Watch this and fantasize about a world in which you are allowed to just fucking hang out by yourself FOR ONE SECOND over the holidays and are justified in vigorously defending your personal space like the Macaulay Culkin child.
Buddy the Elf not only has a pure, warm heart (like you!), he also has no idea what he’s doing in a modern, career-driven environment! I’m not saying you relate, but it should be inspiring to my free-wheeling ENFP pals to see someone who serves spaghetti for breakfast still find a way to have it all.
ENFJ—Miracle On 34th Street
Watching a movie that’s not just about altruism, joy and the triumph of the human spirit but about objectively and successfully defending these things in a literal court of law are going to do a lot for your love of both Friendship and The Rules!
ESTP—Jingle All The Way
You’ve never really been one for holiday sentimentality, but you figure you’ve got a pretty good chance into tricking people into watching this so that they get holiday cheer and you get to see Arnold Schwarzenegger battle a swarm of Santas. It’s a win-win!
“My favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard,” you say to anyone who will listen for the fifth year in a row. But lucky for you, it is a good movie and your friends will still most likely watch it with you anyway.
ESFP—Nightmare Before Christmas
As an ESFP you are medically predisposed to fandoms, which means you either already love this movie or it’s time to finally give in.
ESTJ—A Christmas Story
Enjoy relating to the dad in this more and more every year you watch until the day that you, yourself, are literally haggling over the price of a Christmas tree and the cycle is complete.
Spend a little time hardcore fantasizing about fleeing the country for a cute cabin somewhere and also meeting a Jude Law (or Kate Winslet) type while you’re there, you pathologically hopeless romantic.
INFJ—It’s A Wonderful Life
For you, returning to the holidays is a return to that good ol’ holiday existentialism! You’ve definitely wondered about the exact hypothetical of what the world would look like without you, and I’m here to say, definitively, the world is better with you in it, too. (Also, try not to judge George too harshly for lamenting his wife’s alternate universe fate of chilling in a library and still being hot because we all know that actually kicks ass.)
ISTJ—Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
For every ISTJ, the holidays mean a lot of Accomplishing Tasks before anything fun can happen. I’m begging you to curl up with this movie or, honestly, whatever old cartoon your family used to put on and remember that you’re allowed to take a break and sip hot chocolate, too!
ESFJ—The Muppet Christmas Carol
A gentle reminder that sometimes you have to look up from the bottom line (whether it’s your career or emotional labor) and just be present with the ones you love! Why the Muppets version, you ask? Because, as the only one with Rizzo the Rat in it, it’s the best possible iteration of “A Christmas Carol”. Also, shut up.
ENTJ—Holiday in Handcuffs
Spend the whole movie reflecting on how you could run a scam more effectively than Melissa Joan Hart’s character.
You love drawing inspiration from all over and have probably described yourself as an “old soul,” so put your money where your mouth is and spend a little time with Bing Crosby and the gang.
INTP—The Polar Express
You’re probably tired of seeing everyone’s same six favorite holiday movies this year, so why not go with something that has probably never been anyone’s top pick in the history of humanity? The best part of this movie is all the mini games it presents you with, including seeing which of your friends can be convinced that this is the best movie ever and dissecting what exactly about the CGI makes it so deeply unnerving.
You super relate to someone trying to make things work for loved ones this hard and have probably fantasized about just flying to Tahiti like Reese and Vince. BUT you can rest easy in this movie’s central theme that while relationships and entanglements are messy, they’re worth it.
ISTP—How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Come to bear witness to the cute dog with the antler on his head. Stay because you think that both the antisocial Grinch and the community-oriented Whos make some good points.
A version of this article previously appeared in December 2019.