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What Is “Real Sex,” Anyway?


Even before this relationship, I’d known that queer sex is valid and just as important to talk about as heterosexual experiences. But I’d never before been with someone who was so unafraid to explore what sex could look like. One late evening, I texted her to ask how she felt about sex toys, and if she’d like to try some with me. She explained that she had mixed experiences in the past, but she was open to exploring because every person and situation is unique. Then, she sent a photo of herself, topless. Her long body stood in front of a mirror, wearing nothing but black boxer briefs, with her right hand inside them. Her hair was slicked back perfectly and the expression on her face gave way to all the ways she wanted me. Forward, backward, bent over, flat on my back, face pushed into pillow, open wide, clinging, holding, hard, soft, wet. 



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